We have a News Flash here at Casa de Bachelor. The dear sweet puppies are moving away.
Yes, after 5 pair of shoes, two couches, one recliner, a chair, 12+ bags of trash, three coffee table books, a 20lb bag of charcoal, two packs of Starburst, a ladies purse, last month's Victoria's Secret catalog, $25 worth of model-building wood, four cardboard architectural models, $750 cash, three pillows, a bottle of vitamins, my rubber ducky, at least 85 Q-Tips, a bottle of sunless tanning lotion, countless other random and assorted household items, PLUS all the stuff they were supposed to eat, the council of roommates has convened, and the puppies have been voted off the island.
Did I mention the carpet?
You know how when you were a kid, there was always that one kid in the neighborhood with like 5 brothers and sisters and at least 8 pets? And you'd go to their house and it was like a zoo? And the thing was, their house really *smelled* like they had a half dozen kids and at least that many pets living there? But none of them could smell that nasty smell because their noses had become desensitized to it?
Yeah, that's our house now.
Roommate #3 just returned from a weeklong trip to Ohio and the first thing she says when she walks in the front door is "Oh my God, this house REEKS!" I couldn't smell it. I live here, so I couldn't smell it. This was not a happy moment.
Anyhow, roommate #2 placed some calls and the puppies are going to live in Ohio starting Tuesday. The little girl puppy is going to live with a nice young family (hope they have hyperactive kids), and the little boy puppy is going to live with roommate #2's parents for a while until he can be otherwise adopted.
Hopefully, being separated from each other will help sap some of the destructive powers the puppies have gained over the past few months. Roommate #2's original thought in getting two puppies versus one was that two puppies would wear each other out and he wouldn't have to work as hard. This is exactly the opposite of what happened. Two puppies ended up wearing out the humans faster so each individual puppy didn't have to work as hard tearing up the house. Their destructive power is unmatched by any animal I have ever known, save maybe those cute little smiling fish in that Pirahna movie.
Really, we are all kind of sad to see the puppies go. We got kind of attached to them. Even Cleo the Grey Cat kind of liked them. Every time one of us humans would be slapping a puppy for doing something bad, Cleo the Grey Cat would come running over and join in. I swear, that cat is fearless. He'd run halfway across the room just to bat the puppy's nose with his paw.
Nevertheless, the puppies must go. And despite their moderate level of cuteness, they could never match Ralphie.
You have Q-tips?
Posted by: OAK | Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 06:53 PM
For the ears. You know, after a bath, you've got to get the water out of your ears.
Of course, this probably wouldn't happen if I didn't fall asleep in the tub and slip under the water...
Posted by: Jason | Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 07:07 PM
No matter how cute they are, you can have too many animals!!
Glad to hear that Ralph is still there!!!
Posted by: liz | Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 10:45 PM
jason, i just read the "about me" page and you totally should of let me write in that because i see a side of you that your friends dont see and i have a couple of things to say about you but i dont want you to feel weird around me or anything but here it goes. i wish i didnt smoke and i wish i didnt have piercings and i wish i didnt wear make up pretty much i wish i was the kind of girl that you liked because i think your hot in a boss kind of way. i think that we have that communication part down perfect but its just the physical attraction and the whole BOSS thing that is a problem. i love it that you can come out with me and have a couple of beers at DOS GRINGOS with me. you are very smart, almost too smart for your own good, and you would do anything for anyone no matter what. your very motivated you have 2 jobs your own car you go to school and you dont live with your parents what the hell could anyone else ask for???? so in short you're a cool guy and i hope that you find a girl just like you!!!
Posted by: danielle | Monday, July 21, 2003 at 04:17 AM
I never thought the day would come when the puppies would go away. Certainly seems for the best though.
Posted by: Sarah Fay Philips | Tuesday, July 22, 2003 at 01:46 PM